11.18.2008
Left Behind
Am I the only one that’s left behind?
Still lurking in the shadows
Without grace
Without soul
Only discontentment
Efforts left void.
Am I an asset or futile?
When will I be heard?
When will I be seen?
When will my moment come?
I’ve been waiting patiently
For time to pass.
Questions lingering
Hope remains
In this wretched façade
Eager to uncover
The insecurity remains…
Will I ever get to that point?
Or, will I remain left behind?
11.14.2008
No Secrets in Love
There is no secret formula for love. A successful relationship is not measured by its length but by its depth. You work things out. Sometimes you compromise, and oftentimes you just give in. You can get what you want but you can also loose yourself. You can fall in and out of love. It’s a constant change and beguiling of the heart. You must gratify and be satisfied. It’s reality and everyday is a discovery. It’s a learning process that you go through. It’s a tough challenge mentally, physically and emotionally. It’s open to all, but not everyone is ready to influence and be transformed.
11.05.2008
Domestic Mayhem
Who wants domestic dispute?
Probably nobody.
But when we’re at this point, what is worth fighting over family ties?
Let me see...
Respect?
Value of a person?
Individual needs?
Every family member has different points of view, approaches, styles, needs and interests. Each individual needs to be heard. The leader needs to, not only be in charge, but also guide and be open-minded. The same goes to everyone else. Members are at liberty to listen, to ask and to know. Opinions need be considered and deliberated, and not just discounted without noteworthy justification. It’s not that there is no trust. But you cannot leave a person in the dark that is very much involved in the matter as a member of the family. It matters to understand to avoid disagreement. Don’t you think so?
Ultimately, everyone’s goal is for the well being not just for oneself, but also of the kin. However, to get to the goal everything needs to be put in place. Set objectives, boundaries, priorities, agreements and tasks because, as what was said, each member of the family is different. It’s the responsible thing to do.
What about emotions?
Emotions come naturally. But it needs to be tempered. It would be very hard to manage but be vigilant about it.
Issues and concerns need to be resolved. I would say being emotional about it is healthy at a certain height. There should be room for it. What’s terrible is when members become apathetic about it because then they just give up disinterested without working for or fighting for a resolution. They become insincere and ineffective. What then is the point?
But then again, what do I really know? It’s just my view, outside looking in.
I am helpless but hopeful.
I believe family ties are valuable. But the family can only thrive and function fittingly taking into account respect and value of each person and his individual needs. Only then should the family make up its collective and common goal.
Probably nobody.
But when we’re at this point, what is worth fighting over family ties?
Let me see...
Respect?
Value of a person?
Individual needs?
Every family member has different points of view, approaches, styles, needs and interests. Each individual needs to be heard. The leader needs to, not only be in charge, but also guide and be open-minded. The same goes to everyone else. Members are at liberty to listen, to ask and to know. Opinions need be considered and deliberated, and not just discounted without noteworthy justification. It’s not that there is no trust. But you cannot leave a person in the dark that is very much involved in the matter as a member of the family. It matters to understand to avoid disagreement. Don’t you think so?
Ultimately, everyone’s goal is for the well being not just for oneself, but also of the kin. However, to get to the goal everything needs to be put in place. Set objectives, boundaries, priorities, agreements and tasks because, as what was said, each member of the family is different. It’s the responsible thing to do.
What about emotions?
Emotions come naturally. But it needs to be tempered. It would be very hard to manage but be vigilant about it.
Issues and concerns need to be resolved. I would say being emotional about it is healthy at a certain height. There should be room for it. What’s terrible is when members become apathetic about it because then they just give up disinterested without working for or fighting for a resolution. They become insincere and ineffective. What then is the point?
But then again, what do I really know? It’s just my view, outside looking in.
I am helpless but hopeful.
I believe family ties are valuable. But the family can only thrive and function fittingly taking into account respect and value of each person and his individual needs. Only then should the family make up its collective and common goal.
11.04.2008
The Legacy of an Idiosyncratic World
Don't you find it strange?
How many look but don't see
Hear but don't listen
Speak but don't communicate
Study but don't learn
Love but don't commit
Exist but don't live.
It's a world of peculiarities
Of fears and risks
Full of possibilities
Changing and hopeful
Sometimes trapped
In the abyss of solitude
Confusion and desolation.
Others give in
Others give up
But there are those
Who still fight
Struggle and persist
Everything they have
Everything they are.
They are triumphant
Not to see the end
Nor even cherish the fruits
But one who has left
To the children of the future
Victory valued on account
A legacy worth living...
And worth dying for.
How many look but don't see
Hear but don't listen
Speak but don't communicate
Study but don't learn
Love but don't commit
Exist but don't live.
It's a world of peculiarities
Of fears and risks
Full of possibilities
Changing and hopeful
Sometimes trapped
In the abyss of solitude
Confusion and desolation.
Others give in
Others give up
But there are those
Who still fight
Struggle and persist
Everything they have
Everything they are.
They are triumphant
Not to see the end
Nor even cherish the fruits
But one who has left
To the children of the future
Victory valued on account
A legacy worth living...
And worth dying for.
10.28.2008
I Want! but...Am Not!
Going culinary in the kitchen ala chef.
Shooting for the stars writing a book or a column.
An entrepreneur queen-bee of 'donotknowwhatyet'.
Traveling cultural adventures around the world.
Smart, rich, sexy and beautiful all rolled into one.
A girl can dream. It's possible.
Shooting for the stars writing a book or a column.
An entrepreneur queen-bee of 'donotknowwhatyet'.
Traveling cultural adventures around the world.
Smart, rich, sexy and beautiful all rolled into one.
A girl can dream. It's possible.
10.10.2008
The Craze
What is everyone crazy about these days?
CITISECONLINE!!!
Sheesh! Hahaha! :D
The highs and lows of the Philippine Stock Market... It's a hit because it gives YOU buying power! It has become an obsession as far as my friends at work are concerned. I wonder when I'll be joining the craze. Hmmm... I need mula! I want Jollibee stocks! Soon!
Happy buying to my friends! :)
CITISECONLINE!!!
Sheesh! Hahaha! :D
The highs and lows of the Philippine Stock Market... It's a hit because it gives YOU buying power! It has become an obsession as far as my friends at work are concerned. I wonder when I'll be joining the craze. Hmmm... I need mula! I want Jollibee stocks! Soon!
Happy buying to my friends! :)
10.08.2008
Lost Souls
Lost boy, what do you want?
Lost child, what can you say?
Lost soul, where are you?
Where are you coming from?
What do you want?
I seek to understand.
What can you say?
I'm here to listen.
Where are you?
I am here, waiting.
There's so much trouble in this world.
Choose your battles well.
You cannot win them all.
Acclaim victory to none but this.
Do not give in.
Do not give up.
Apathy is creeping.
Do not let it succeed.
Let your troubles be not left in vain.
Fight.
Struggle.
You win some.
Fight.
Struggle.
You lose some.
Fight for what's yours.
Fight for your principles.
Fight for love.
Fight for what is right.
It is a challenge.
It will not come easy.
As you pass through the fire
Then shall you see with clarity.
So now tell me...
Lost boy, what do you want?
Lost child, what can you say?
Lost soul, where are you?
Where are you coming from?
Lost child, what can you say?
Lost soul, where are you?
Where are you coming from?
What do you want?
I seek to understand.
What can you say?
I'm here to listen.
Where are you?
I am here, waiting.
There's so much trouble in this world.
Choose your battles well.
You cannot win them all.
Acclaim victory to none but this.
Do not give in.
Do not give up.
Apathy is creeping.
Do not let it succeed.
Let your troubles be not left in vain.
Fight.
Struggle.
You win some.
Fight.
Struggle.
You lose some.
Fight for what's yours.
Fight for your principles.
Fight for love.
Fight for what is right.
It is a challenge.
It will not come easy.
As you pass through the fire
Then shall you see with clarity.
So now tell me...
Lost boy, what do you want?
Lost child, what can you say?
Lost soul, where are you?
Where are you coming from?
10.02.2008
I Hate Break-ups
Impassive expression.
Empty promises.
False hope.
Cyclical error.
Abused compassion.
Neglected virtue.
Meaningless words.
Confused thoughts.
Broken hearts.
Lost soul.
Love destruction.
Faults realized.
Biased accord.
Motionless decree.
Tumultuous peace.
Drifted apart.
Uncontainable emotions
Undeniable truth.
Vague conditions.
Shattered dreams.
Half-dead spirit.
I hate break-ups!
9.23.2008
Guangzhou Experience
I will enumerate, in no particular order, the things I did in Guangzhou China that I’ve never experienced back home in Manila:
- Travel alone via plane to and from Guangzhou (or anywhere for that matter).
- Lodge in a hospital for 5 days.
- Sleep in a hospital bed for 5 nights.
- Spend my 25th birthday (I’ll never be 25 again on my other birthdays to come, right?).
- I got to see a live polar bear!
- I got to see an elephant play soccer, bow, sit and do a headstand.
- I got to see the largest safari park in China (with 333 hectares of land) and all the other animals I got to see for the 1st time.
- I got to bring my own grocery cart in the grocery store.
- I got to pack my own grocery (w/o plastic bags) in the grocery cart.
- I got to pull my own grocery cart from the grocery back to the hospital.
- Heard mass surrounded by Chinese and Nigerian.
- Sharing a table with a stranger to eat at a restaurant.
- Ride an ambulance (from the airport to the hospital).
- The hand & foot spa service of a Chinese.
- People staring at me because I speak alien to them. Hehehe!
- Going to Guangzhou’s entertainment place – by the Pearl River. A night of dancing, tai chi, badminton, juggling, biking, roller skating, jogging, dog-walking, etc.
Things I did in Guangzhou I wish I’d do back home:
- Walk! Walk! Walk…and more walking!
- Take the subway to go around the city (MRT & LRT for Manila).
- Get to admire the lighted skyscrapers at night.
Things in Guangzhou that reminded me of Manila:
- Shopping! Shopping! Shopping…and more shopping in Divisoria-like and Greenhills-like shopping centers.
- Tea, dumplings and chopsticks.
- Hand & foot spa service.
- Chinatown – the food, the smell, the place, the people.
- The Pearl River reminded me of Pasig River and Baywalk combined.
- The Almeda’s.
This is my 5-day Guangzhou experience. Personal, unique and unforgettable.
9.19.2008
Finding Myself In Me
We are all uniquely messed up. I have families and close friends burdened with the loss of a loved one, lovers breaking-up, familial and financial problems here and there, personal and work issues troubling, even soul-searching and finding one’s purpose becomes more apparent than usual.
This so-called quarter life crisis is really bugging. Now I begin to see and experience for myself the complexities we get ourselves into. The world is testing my character. All those experiences I have gone through in the past suddenly make sense…suddenly gains meaning and value in my life.
After college and getting into a stable job…I prep myself to the next level. Then suddenly, without warning, I’m living in the next level. It scares me sometimes how the responsibilities are passed down to me, and how decision-making can most of the time be instantaneous, that no matter how hard I try to plan and budget, not everything is in the palm of my hands to control. But the funny thing is, in the end, it will all work out, not just the way I expected it to be.
Everything is a balance. True, but easier said than done. Imagine, juggling your time for family, work, friends, spirituality, fitness, entertainment, and what not. Sometimes it’s just too much and it becomes really exhausting that you just want a timeout to sit back and relax. Even that you have to have time for. I think people who have this kind of lifestyle just want more out of life to the point that they want to try everything there is. The bottom line is we are searching for that something that can fill us. We are searching for that something or someone that makes us feel alive.
And sometimes we forget our purpose and meaning because we want to get to that point quickly. We want to get ahead of others that in the process we don’t realize we got ourselves into the rat race. And what we thought was a short cut suddenly became an endless cycle of temporal value, where our “yes” becomes automatic and time is of relevance to how we live our lives. We just continue to want and swallow what we think we can handle. As we live in this kind of cycle, our web continues to grow. Our reach of the world can be found in one tube as we find ourselves living in globalization.
Back to the basics – I miss the experience of having to go through the whole process from beginning to end; I would want to experience living in the moment rather than immediate result or output (although this is subjective). There are just things that cannot be fast-forwarded – like experiencing and living life right here, right now even though at the moment we are at our worst. The beauty of it all is in the journey of life – the bits and pieces of stories behind the book cover.
No matter how messed up we seem to be, we just have to continue to strive to be better than our best. It’s in our nature after all. We have to continue to plan and budget, to work and relax, to enjoy and struggle. We have to make the most of what we have and sometimes more. The more we put ourselves out there, the more we discover not only the world, but also ourselves. We are who we are, and we become what we do – the choices that we make. So just live and be alive for yourself and the people around you because you will not find yourself in others. You will find yourself within you. You are what makes you alive.
This so-called quarter life crisis is really bugging. Now I begin to see and experience for myself the complexities we get ourselves into. The world is testing my character. All those experiences I have gone through in the past suddenly make sense…suddenly gains meaning and value in my life.
After college and getting into a stable job…I prep myself to the next level. Then suddenly, without warning, I’m living in the next level. It scares me sometimes how the responsibilities are passed down to me, and how decision-making can most of the time be instantaneous, that no matter how hard I try to plan and budget, not everything is in the palm of my hands to control. But the funny thing is, in the end, it will all work out, not just the way I expected it to be.
Everything is a balance. True, but easier said than done. Imagine, juggling your time for family, work, friends, spirituality, fitness, entertainment, and what not. Sometimes it’s just too much and it becomes really exhausting that you just want a timeout to sit back and relax. Even that you have to have time for. I think people who have this kind of lifestyle just want more out of life to the point that they want to try everything there is. The bottom line is we are searching for that something that can fill us. We are searching for that something or someone that makes us feel alive.
And sometimes we forget our purpose and meaning because we want to get to that point quickly. We want to get ahead of others that in the process we don’t realize we got ourselves into the rat race. And what we thought was a short cut suddenly became an endless cycle of temporal value, where our “yes” becomes automatic and time is of relevance to how we live our lives. We just continue to want and swallow what we think we can handle. As we live in this kind of cycle, our web continues to grow. Our reach of the world can be found in one tube as we find ourselves living in globalization.
Back to the basics – I miss the experience of having to go through the whole process from beginning to end; I would want to experience living in the moment rather than immediate result or output (although this is subjective). There are just things that cannot be fast-forwarded – like experiencing and living life right here, right now even though at the moment we are at our worst. The beauty of it all is in the journey of life – the bits and pieces of stories behind the book cover.
No matter how messed up we seem to be, we just have to continue to strive to be better than our best. It’s in our nature after all. We have to continue to plan and budget, to work and relax, to enjoy and struggle. We have to make the most of what we have and sometimes more. The more we put ourselves out there, the more we discover not only the world, but also ourselves. We are who we are, and we become what we do – the choices that we make. So just live and be alive for yourself and the people around you because you will not find yourself in others. You will find yourself within you. You are what makes you alive.
8.20.2008
Humdrum Moments
Humdrum moments get me thinking…
Should I stay or should I go? The logical thing to do is stay. But the heart says, “Go, escape, be free!”
But then what?
Then my question is left hanging. My idea remains to be just a thought…a foolish one at that.
But the soul is searching. I want more out of life. I want to be fulfilled with my day job. I want it to be meaningful. I want it to make sense. I want it not just to be about money.
But the money factor is most of the time (if not always) tempting.
I know many share this dilemma. But what can we really do about it? Can we sacrifice the money factor in a materialistic 3rd world and still do what we love?
Another question is…do you really know what your passion is or
where it lies?
What is it all about?
Then I remember a line from a prayer…”Stretch me, Lord, I will not limit Your gifts by my perceptions of what I can handle.”
So I sit quietly and pray to the Holy Spirit.
Suddenly, my mind is awakened. I don’t know all the answers to my questions nor know what it is really all about. But I know this…
I know I have an unrevealed purpose in life, and that I must continue to search endlessly…beyond the ends of the earth. I know there is something greater than life here on earth. And yes I believe in life after death.
So all these humdrum moments are just reminders that everyday is a constant struggle…everyday is a journey…everyday is a battle. It is not everyday that the whole universe conspires to break you…because it can also make you. Actually, it is you who decides if the world will work for you or not. The opportunities are out there and it is our choice to take it.
And so I mark this day - 20th of August, year 2008 exactly 2:22 in the afternoon, the battle won against humdrum moments.
*image taken from www.thefreedictionary.com
7.01.2008
The Battle Won
I am late by a minute
To work hours and hours
As each day passes
Turned into months
Since you’ve been gone.
Oh how time flies
In this agonizing phase
Of waiting and wondering
Tell me
When will you be home?
I’ve been staring into oblivion
Wishing, hoping
That I could be with you
That I could share in your joy
And in your pain.
I know it’s been very hard
To put up this façade
To be away from home
To feel helpless
To see your love one suffer.
But you remain dedicated
Strong and unwavering
Full of hope
Living by faith
As you surrender all your fears unto Him.
You will hear no qualms
Only encouragement
So do not worry
It’s not always about me
For I will be patient.
I am one with you in this
I have seen for myself
My prayers are committed
To the healing
Of mind, body and spirit.
Man has endured well
As he fights the good fight
This battle has already been won
For him
By Him.
He will let you see
He will let you feel
His goodness
His greatness
His love.
He will reveal
And you will understand
You will believe
You will accept
His will be done.
6.17.2008
In Memoriam
Stare into space, stare into nothingness.
Gaze into my eyes, straight and deep.
Look into me, search for my soul.
Find meaning in my eyes, find me if you can.
I’m drowning in sorrow, blurred in these tears.
I have lost a piece of me when I lost you.The morning-after has come.
The sun has risen but it was overshadowed.
Dark days of pouring rain…cold and gloomy nights…crying in the shadows.
Better days will come...
But for now let me mourn a great loss.
You will always be appreciated, loved and remembered.r.i.p. jp (6.13.08)
for you pangit! i'm here for you.
6.12.2008
Missing.Waiting.Yearning.
So far so good…
So far I can take it…
So far I can manage…
So far I’ve been missing you a whole lot!
I can’t wait to see you…
Can’t wait to be close to you…
Can’t wait to hold your hand…
I just can’t wait.
No more waiting…
I’m coming…
I’m going…
I’ll be there!
Come for me …
Look for me in that crowded hall…
Look for that familiar face…
Never taking your eyes off of that teary-eyed girl with an earnest smile.
Take me with open arms…
Shower me with warm butterfly kisses…
Hand in hand, step by step…
We will journey this foreign city.
I know this feeling…
I know this heartbeat…
I’ll remember this moment…
Elated once more.
We will celebrate our momentary reunion…
We will drink to our quarter-life…
We will offer enduring support and affection…
And we will part satisfied and yearning for more.
6.07.2008
25 Ways Anne Sees Mela…
- I look at you and I see our childhood days…the girl I constantly exchanged letters with…my 24/7…my Romy and Michelle.
- I look at you and I see Tito Caesar…tall and brilliant. :)
- I look at you and I see friendship and sisterhood.
- I look at you and I see home and comfort.
- I look at you and I see wisdom.
- I look at you and I see hard work.
- I look at you and I see depth.
- I look at you and I see a picture of hope.
- I look at you and I see honesty.
- I look at you and I see a responsible leader…a role model.
- I look at you and I see my angel heaven-sent.
- I look at you and I see a blessing.
- I look at you and I see pure heart…a woman for others.
- I look at you and I see a girl searching for herself…challenging her limits …striving for perfection.
- I look at you and I see a lady with style, grace, elegance and passion.
- I look at you and I see values, principles and idealism.
- I look at you and I see love and compassion.
- I look at you and I see trust.
- I look at you and I see forgiveness and understanding.
- I look at you and I see beautiful.
- I look at you and I see spirited life…feisty, strong-willed and adventurous.
- I look at you and I see happiness…even in the smallest and simplest of things.
- I look at you and I see extraordinary…cream of the crop!
- I look at you and I see my Maid of Honor!
- I look at you and I see a girl who just turned 25!
Just sharing this piece I wrote for my best friend's 25th (06.05.08). And tonight...we are going to party hard!
xoxo
5.09.2008
Star Highway
Take me for a ride
Down the stretch of the highway
A road to nowhere
Where adventure awaits
Possibilities endless.
Surrounded with greens and browns,
Blues and whites
A delightful journey
I'd gladly take with you.
*While traversing Star Highway in Batangas to San Juan :)
3.19.2008
1st Quarter
After the holiday season, my world has been wrapped-up around work. My energy has been consumed in this whirlwind of projects and tasks. No time to vent. I just took it all in…swallowed hard…dealt with it. Good for me, I guess. So much has happened…a lot of things evaded. I cannot recount anymore. It all happened so fast like a gush of wind blowing east to west and then still. Still I need to be for this week. Then we resume once more the following week until I cannot take it any longer. I want my life back…or has it come to this?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)