I love the sudden downpour
as I cruise watchfully along the highway.
Huge drops of acid rain
hitting violently
against my car’s windshield.
Blurry vision of the road
temporarily cleared by the incessant wiper
washing off the dirt on my car.
Then it stops…silence…
As you look up
you see clear skies
and the sun peeking
behind the few clouds
with colors that had formed.
Then it hits me…
the sun’s warmth rays.
I smile
put on my shades
turn up the radio
and step on the gas.
Blissful drive once again.
I will keep quiet when you raise your voice.
I will be still when you react violently.
I will crack a joke when you’re irritated.
I will be your rock when you falter or cry
I will hold you in my arms when you reject me.
I will love you during your darkest hours.
For men are boys posing to be men.
For a woman is their weakness whom he draws strength and inspiration.
This is the great paradox of love.
Men, do not be afraid to unmask your weaknesses
Because she has the instinctive care of a mother
...a woman who will show you unconditional love.
Call it martyrdom…
I say it’s selfless love.
Old habits die hard. It’s true. But we just have to try to make a change and start change within ourselves. Cliché? Yes. But it’s the truth. It’s a principle. If we want change we have to look at the inward-outward approach.
I’ve learned a lot through the years especially now that I’m working. I’ve attended a lot of trainings and workshops lately and even talks and sharings – things that contribute to my personal and spiritual beliefs…my paradigms basically that affects my social and professional relationships. It’s tough, but I don’t need to tell you that. You know for yourself. You’re in a tough one, too. But it’s amazing how I try to apply everything that molded me.
I have my shortcomings and I’m glad that I’m aware of some of them and that other people give me feedback. I appreciate that especially when delivered constructively. It humbles me. That means I know what I should work on. By knowing my strengths and weakness I get to know me, who I am and what I can be…or who I want to be.
I’m in this transition period from being way dependent on my parents, elders, teachers & the like to having this little-independence-of-a-ball growing bigger and bigger everyday! It’s good how I’m independent at the same time dependent on others too. You can’t be too much of any of them. We have to be inter-dependent. A balancing act is the best way to strive for. And the best way to demonstrate this is in every aspect of our lives – our personal, spiritual, physical and social life (or anyway you may want call it). That means more responsibilities as well because we have to manage all those, and it’s really tough fitting them in a one-day’s schedule.
And so I pause to check where I am right now and where I’m headed. I take it easy and slowly. Because if I join the rat-race, it may be good that I’m flourishing, say with my career and finances…but what about other relationships? Money is important but our life is not about money. Money does not constitute success, rather a tool for success.
One of the many things I learned with my workshop on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is the thing about time management. Time management, as I learned, is not about managing your time...it’s about managing your relationships. We have to know the things that matter most to us then we prioritize that, then everything else follows.
For me, two things: my God and my family. Basically it all boils down to them. Career, money, earthly possessions…I want those too…but that will not be my priority…not at the expense of what’s important for me. But I didn’t say I’m a saint. It’s a work-in-progress. I still do struggle…everyday…for old habits die hard.
I want to leave this passage for you to reflect on. It sure enlightened me. And so I share…
When God wants to make a man He puts him into
some storm. The history of manhood is always
rough and rugged. No man is made until he has
been out into the surge of the storm and found
the sublime fulfillment of the prayer: "O God,
take me, break me, make me.
The beauties of nature come after the storm. The
rugged beauty of the mountain is born in a storm,
and the heroes of life are the storm-swept and
the battle-scarred.
You have been in the storms and swept by the
blasts. Have they left you broken, weary, beaten
in the valley, or have they lifted you to the
sunlit summits of a richer, deeper, more abiding
(Selected from Streams in the Desert Devotionals)
"Love your own."The earth is said to be around 4.5 billion years old. Imagine that! So much had happened and yet there is still so much to be seen…so much to be heard…so much to be read…so much to be said...so much to be learned...so much to be understood...so much to live by...et cetera, et cetera.
Thinking about it now, given a day…how can we fit everything in just 24hours? Check that. The right question should be...”how do we want to experience life in just 24hours?” What are those things we value the most that is worth our time?
It’s a difficult question because most of us take a lifetime to realize what we really want...to realize what is worth our time...what is of value to us...while others don’t get their chance at all.
Once we’re in that moment, there’s no more time for planning how to live...you just do. You live spontaneously based on who you are, what you know about yourself and your surroundings. And every second is a decision of faith and reason. Decide...then as if everything will conspire for or against that decision because this is how the balance of nature works.
And though there is no perfect you and me, together we might just be the perfect match and we’ll strive for that ideal perfect relationship for our love.
Good morning sunshine! Hello world! Beautiful mornings make me bright and shiny. Makes my cup of coffee taste a little more sweet and my realm surround with its aroma. Makes my day productive and stimulating. How I wish for sun-shiny mornings all year-round.
How nice it is to wear my shades whenever you’re around. Driving the horizon where I find you ahead of me, beaming and touching my soft-tanned-face, your warmth kissing my nose and cheeks, glaring at my sunglasses.
Though I can’t stare at you, powerful sun up, you give me light, warmth and hope. As I’ve said, you’re the 1st miracle of the day. But I can gaze at you serene sundown as you bid your rays goodbye, reflection on the waters making a painting-like panorama.
How sweet, how beautiful, how romantic…oh what light and hope you bring to my life. Wishing you forever…good morning sunshine!
Collection of words, grouped together in paragraphs (below) with each of their subject. Makes sense to me.
Show me the way and I will follow. Teach me your ways and I will listen. With open heart and open mind I will abide faithfully. I want to be your likened. Let me be. I will be. I am.
Coffee for you the hard worker, the thinker, the gossiper, the sleepy head, the addict.
How can you lose a lover and a friend in one person?
People come and go but you choose the people you want to remain in your life. You can’t choose your family but you can choose whom to love.
So you lost a lover (no strings attached it seems) but chose to remain friends. But where do you draw the line? A lot of people were confused and so were you. Though we cannot define or categorize your relationship, it seemed you loved by faith and by chance. By faith because you are good friends and that faithful bond kept you together. But you thought things could still work out because of that bond and you kept going about in circles but ended up in the same spot...the reason for your breakup. By chance because you weren’t sure where to go from that spot. You were afraid. Oh yes you were. There were a lot of uncertainties and you wouldn’t dare risk what life would bring after your story with him. And so you delayed your story’s ending never closing that chapter.
You love him but dream of a perfect him which is not him. You love her but let her slip. It’s bound to end anywhere and anyway you look at it. But you cling on to hope. Hoping that perhaps, this time…over and over, things will be different. There were so many signs. You kept asking for one and He kept on giving them to you. But you refuse to see, to listen, to realize, to accept and to act. It is over. This time, it really is over. Because this time you lost a friend. Have you lost each other’s respect? I hope not. Have you just grown tired? Yes. But maybe this is what you need. Life apart. So you can grow freely.
It’s been a while since you’ve been wandering in the shades of gray. It’s about time you actually did something about it. You’ve always...always known it. And you kept on saying “I know what I want” and “I know what to do”. But I’m not going to count the years that have passed, nor the times you have circled the same path. Because now, I’m at least glad you have found the fields of freedom...away from the shady woods.
And to the other you, this is for you as well.
What happened happened and they happen for a reason. Wish things could have turned out differently...wish things would turn out ok. Nevertheless, wish happiness for you both. You’ll know when it’s enough. You know it. You’ve tried and have fought well but it’s time to let go. Enough.
I don’t quite remember how things have come to pass. The picture is fuzzy thinking about it today. But I’m glad I took that chance. I wasn’t 100% sure then. Now I’m sure more than ever, and probably the surest thing I know. I’ve been feeling this way for quite a while now. And that chance was one of the greatest risks I ever took.
Giving my heart to you was my greatest risk. My greatest risk is my greatest love.
I’d like to believe I’ve prepared myself for this. I did some planning, formed expectations and criteria in my head, had a few selections in my pocket. But after all those provisions I made for myself, I wasn’t ready. Then you came unexpectedly. But this was our 2nd chance. And I wouldn’t allow you to slip once again. I knew He did this for a reason. I knew this was supposed to happen. I knew that was the moment.
I now realized that He had set a better plan for me. Better than what I had planned before you came into my life. He blessed me with so much more…more than expected really. And it still blows me how you continue to surprise me with the littlest things that mean the world to me. Immeasurable, incomparable, priceless, pure love.
I’m just glad that we are able to respond to what He had planned for us. There are a lot of things, temptations and outside forces that could break us. But we’ll get by. You and I, we’ll get by. We will risk it all.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know things. And I'm no rocket scientist. I don’t need to prove things to believe in them. That’s because I have faith. And besides learning from my own experiences, I try to understand from others’ experiences as well.
I don’t have to experience heartbrokenness to give you sound advise on it. My credentials as a person who loved and lost (if there is such) does not matter when it comes to giving sound advise. It should not be a basis for anyone to believe in me or not. Besides, I am not the person concerned here. Do not underestimate a person who loves and never experienced her heart to be broken.
For the record, my heart was broken once. And I know how it is to lose someone you love. And I dealt with it at a young age. I faced it all on my own. Believe me no matter how deep or shallow and how different the love may be it still hurts. I’ve burned letters, threw away memorabilia, averted my eyes to avoid his and all those childish high school stuff. The point is, I’ve been broken. But that does not matter when I’m trying to help a friend cope with her own heartache, does it? Because I believe I was not biased based on my own experience. I based it the way I saw your situation with him and how you are now.
But yes, you may be right that you have to do what you have to do if it will give you your redemption. I told you, it’s still up to you. All I’m giving is a side, an option, another viewpoint hoping you can gain strength from it. But remember, you already know the answer. You just refuse to let it surface on your own, afraid to face reality, hesitant in accepting. You still need to hear it from him because this is your way. Perhaps this is your last attempt to win him back.
Oh! So ok. I guess that is it. That is why you’re being stubborn or (pardon me) stupid, whatever. And who am I to get in the way? How can I stop you when this is your way of coping? Because yes, we all have different ways of coping from heartache.
I just don’t want to see you get hurt again. You’re putting yourself in the middle of the battlefield lowering your defenses. You’re vulnerable right now and who knows what he can do to you! But I’ve realized you’re making a bold move. It’s a very brave thing to do trying to face him with your current state. Because you can breakdown any moment you’re with him.
So tomorrow...good luck. I hope you have enough strength to muster. Even though I think he wouldn’t show, I hope he does so you can get it over with. So you can put an end to your obvious (for me) questions. Whatever the outcome may be, I just wish you happiness. Whatever you’re feeling towards this, just pray I’m wrong. Prove me wrong. Whatever may be, I will always be here.
I love you!
I love you and I am not just saying it. I am not compelled to say it as a reply because you said it first. These are not just words put together to form a sentence. It is with meaning. These are not just words formed by my thoughts. It is with feeling.
Love is both pain and beautiful. Whatever it is, you have made it wonderful for me. I am blown away by your wonderfully consuming love and I’m heartily about to explode. I will not deny it. I simply cannot.
I find myself staring into space with delight wishing this is forever. I want this…all this with you. This is all nothing without you in it. You have made my ordinary life extraordinary. It is you that happened to me. It is you that made my story interesting.
Stay with me forever. Love me forever. We’re only about to begin. These are just snippets of what is to come. Stay with me…love me…come what may.
Everyone wants to be heard. Everyone wants to be something. Everyone wants to be great...in their own little or big ways...because we exist. We want to be recognized. We want to be appreciated. And I want this for myself...because I am feeling and I am human.
But our efforts are not always valued in this temporal space. That’s why we try so hard to make noise...to reach out…to be heard...and to be recognized. For we hope that at least one out of the gazillion people in the world can lend an ear...can look our way...can see us as a person. We want that for ourselves...because we are feeling and we are human.
But I don’t need the gazillions of ears of the world. I realized that a pair of ears is enough. One soul is enough for me. Everything that I do, I know I am being heard, recognized and appreciated.
Thank you.
All eyes are set on me. I grasp for air and try to relax the tension of my body. I take a deep, deep breath and let out a heavy sigh.
I’m a few feet away from the ball ready to pounce on it. I look at the ball – six meters away to victory! But first, it has to pass through this great obstacle. I have to find a way to sweep it past the goalkeeper.
I look at my teammates, my coach, and the supporters…I see them praying, nodding their heads and clenching their fists at me signaling that I can do this. I nod back at them and said a little prayer…
Sweat is forming, trickling down the side of my right temple. I wipe it off and concentrate. I look straight at the sharp eyes of the blocker.
This is it. One on one. One shot. One chance. One moment.
I hear the referee blow his whistle, and I pause…
Then in a split second I take a mighty gasp taking all the air and energy inside me as I aimed a powerful kick at the ball…
Slooow moootiooon…everything is in slow motion…
The ball went flying…rising to the top right corner of the goal…The keeper jumped up stretching her arms trying to reach for it…The tip of her fingers touched it…slightly…
Everyone in silence…
Woosh!
But I guess it wasn’t enough…
Goal!
Pandemonium! The crowd went wild! They roared and cheered victoriously! My teammates rushed at me and gave me the victory ride!!!
“ANNE, WAKE UP!”, I heard someone yell.
Aaaanne, waaake uuup!
I heard it again this time recognizing the person behind the voice…it was my boss!
Shit!
Stop this drama please! Have a little pride my dear. If you’re going to go ‘gaga’ over someone, make sure you do it to the person who deserves it. Like someone you love and loves you in return. After everything that happened...after everything you’ve been through...wake up! Yes, it’s true. You’re inlove with love. But don’t force love on yourself. Let it come. Let it come. It will surely come at the right time. When you’re ready. He knows it.
Why do you succumb to your weakness? Have a little faith in yourself...love yourself girl! I don’t want to see my girl like this. It’s stupid and it upsets me how you haven’t learned anything from your past experiences or our small significant talks over coffee. It’s still up to you, but use your head and not your heart. Though you thought he was the one, HE IS NOT THE ONE!
Face it my dear. Smell the bittersweet scent of the roses, the colorful yet shady picture of the world you live in. Let go and start fresh. Let go and start fresh. He is NOT your star and he will not surprise you! Bang your head against the wall if you must! (LOL)