Marriage is No Fairy Tale

Image taken from farihasecret.blogspot.com

The hype of wedding engagements is surreal for many couples. It’s fun and exciting, stressful and expensive! Couples get into cloud 9 moments and just go for it – their dream wedding! It’s a big celebration, and couples go overboard. Heck, “we only get married once”, is the common mantra. Oh yes! I’ve been there, and no regrets. After a year of marriage, I tell you it’s no fairy tale. Weddings perhaps. Life is still beautiful and exciting, but life catches up real quick. Reality sinks in, responsibilities and expenses double, and I believe almost all emotions and virtues have been used or abused. It’s the highs and lows of the stock market, and that will be the trend we have to face and accept. Getting married is a choice, and staying married is hard work borne out of love and grace from the Lord.

Our Cross

Overcoming ourselves is very hard to do. I understand and feel the pain and the hurt. But I also believe in denying ourselves in order to be the person God wants us to be. But with our worldly tolerance for anxiety, we never reach that point of godliness. The struggle and sacrifice seems too much to bear. We are left utterly disappointed, lost and insignificant. I cannot blame for I cannot walk the talk as well. But the thoughts of piety linger in my mind. I can only hope and pray that God would lead us there, each and every one of us.

Jesus & the Pharisees

The story of Jesus and the Pharisees is about Jesus healing a man on the Sabbath, which the Pharisees forbid because it is in the law of the Church that no work is to be done on this day.

The reflection here is “The evil of ignoring others' needs – God's law – the Law of Love – requires us to take action when we recognize the needs of others and we have the ability to do something about it. Helping others is an act of preserving life; ignoring a person's suffering is destructive and evil.” (2010. Terry A. Modica .Good News Reflections. http://co104w.col104.mail.live.com/default.aspx?wa=wsignin1.0)

You have recognized the need to preserve your family as a Mother, and as the only parent left. You have recognized that it is you who has the ability to ask from them – when they reacted negatively, you questioned. When they denied you, you demanded. You became the black sheep and the scapegoat because of their selfishness. But your actions are willfully out of love because you know that your family and those people who depend on your business are in need. Their inaction on your sufferings or for your improvement in life; or their inaction to correct what is right for the benefit of everyone; or their action of denial upon your rights is evil because they have hindered you of what is rightfully and appropriately yours, where in fact, giving this “thing” will not lessen them in any way, because they have their share to part-take – as for everyone else.

Sometimes I still get confused because it is never pleasant to see family members fight. But still in the end, I trust you, and more importantly, I understand what you are fighting for and why you are doing this.

Despite all of these things, I pray that love and forgiveness prevails, however, whenever.

This Is It!

I’ve been waiting for the right timing. I guess this is it. This is the sign.

It has been bothering me, affecting my work. I’ve been confused, though I know the obvious…or rather, I know the obvious, but I’m just so attached. Attached to everyone, and so used to this life of 5 years. But I guess it’s time to move on…time to close this chapter and open a new one. I expected another 2 or 3 months. I never expected it to be this soon, because I thought I would prepare myself, prepare my thoughts, prepare what to say, plan everything so it would be easy. I guess it’s never easy to say good-bye. Now it makes me sad, but this is for the best - hoping for the best.

It's Not Just A Ride

i miss riding my bike
and just feeling the cool wind on my face
as i breeze the streets.
i miss the inner peace of observing the streets
and enjoying the moment.
i miss the freedom of racing with my biking partner.
i miss wearing my helmet and gloves.
i miss mounting and dismounting bikes on the pickup.
i miss stretching.
i miss sweat and tiredness from a good workout.
i miss exercise and just feeling healthy, adventurous and active.



*taken from http://www.nutsbike.com/tag/bike

Wasting Time

I found my way through this blogger, and enjoyed wasting my time reading through "Oohhh..Lala!!!".

An excerpt -

"Aside from being immersed in different cultures, reliving history, enjoying art and food...the best thing traveling has taught me is HUMILITY. You realize that you are but a small entity in this big,big universe. Ang tendency kasi kapag dito ka lang sa Pilipinas, you become complacent. You know your environment so well, you feel you can go through life blindfolded. you stop asking questions, you stop trying new things, you stick to the cycle. But when you're in a new place, every person is a stranger and everyday is a new adventure. Travel is the best life teacher." (Friday, March 16, 2007 || Patty Laurel)

I've always dreamed of traveling the world - exploring, experiencing, living.

Think Long-term

Am I brave enough to leave the borders of security and trust the universe?

Am I ready to leave the goods for more experience, knowledge and growth – the intangibles of life – which for me, is more rich, fruitful, fulfilling.

Big move; bold move.

I’m taking this chance for our future.

I’m excited and nervous.

Though you give me vague and insubstantial answers to my pressures, I have faith in you.

This faith should and must overcome my uncertainties.

I am open, willing and trusting.

We are in this together…forever.

Mornings @ 6

I’ve noticed a drastic change during my weekday mornings. Since the condo is still under renovation, my husband and I have been staying at their home for a good 3 weeks. This is advantageous and practical since it’s closer to my office than previous.

I would still set the alarm at 6:00am; getup 15 to 20 minutes later to do my rituals of getting ready for work. The difference is remarkable!

Before, when I came from the south, I would leave home w/o makeup, w/o brushing my hair, and with an empty stomach. I’d better be on the road before 7:00am to avoid heavy traffic. I would have to drive a good 1hour or more dropping my Mom off at her office in Makati, then speed to Ortigas with all the hassles of the road. By the time I get to the office, I look so harassed. Hehehe! Then after work, we have to let the rush hour traffic pass before heading home. This is about 10 in the evening. But that’s the way of life from the south. You get used to it and we’re just thankful for the safe travels.

Now, it’s just so convenient; I’m amazed! The past few weeks my stomach is full before leaving at around 7:30am and get to work by 8:00am more or less, with a driver. The most wonderful thing is that this time I get to put on my makeup and brush my hair. Stress free! Then after work, I get more time for sleep!!! Hmmm…wonderful!

Despite all that, I still miss home in the south especially my family, my bed, my stuff, my space. But it’s different now, and I am looking forward to new beginnings.

You are My Home

So happy waking up next to you and bidding the good night beside you.

But I guess we can’t have it all...

I yearn for you in these lonely hours, sitting on this chair all day. I’d rather argue with you than interact with this machine.

I want to go home! Home is wherever you are.

2010 March 27

I attempted to create a wedding website using Wedding Announcer last September, unfortunately I couldn't do much with it - adding photos and music were not working. I found out today from one of their forums that the admin is sick and is out indefinitely, and no one else can administer. So instead of creating another wedding website, I thought I would just post here what I have created so far. It's only two pages anyway - the 'Welcome' and 'About Us' pages. Hehe.

This is how the Welcome page looks like -

Since my 'About Us' is quite long, I'll just post the whole composition -

Our Story
It all started in High School...

We were High School classmates in Colegio San Agustin, Makati. It was 'love at first sight' for Moch during our freshman year (hihihi! I was 'loveable' daw e). But nothing transpired. We weren't even friends then. In Sophomore year we became seatmates. I thought he was a snob or just too shy because he wouldn't speak or even look my way. Literally isang tanong, isang sagot lang siya. The first time I remember him speak to me was during our Report Card distribution that summer of '99. That was because we ran into each other in the hallway and I said 'Hi!' to him. That night, he called me up at home, said 'I love you', and started courting me from then on. He wasted no time! :D (Well that's because this was his 2nd life after his 50-50 Dengue scare). But I thought that was weird. Who says 'I love you' on their first conversation? He told me to give him a chance, so I did.


The courtship wasn't smooth-sailing...

Allow me to cut this story short and fast forward (both of us don't want to look back anymore at our Junior year in HS, especially Prom! In short, I turned him down and he was heart-broken. tsk, tsk, tsk). The only time we really got to know each other was during our graduation year. (Oh diba, he still befriended me after I turned him down) Hindi naman sa makapal ang mukha ko pero he was really crazy about me like a blind follower. Those times I really wondred why (Hehe!). We became close friends, and I slowly got to know the real him, and it carried-on until Freshman year in the University of Asia and the Pacific. However, we were not on the same page with regards to our level of 'Friendship'. I knew I wasn't ready then for a serious relationship. All I could offer was friendship. After almost 3 years of patiently courting me on and off, friendship just wasn't enough for him (Grabe sama ko noh!?) He decided to let go and move on, so ofcourse I let him. And so we lived to do our own thing separately without communication. Awww! :(


"You don't know what you got 'til it's gone"...

Ours was a classic case...well, at least for me. It was hard for me then to accept that I fell for this guy. I knew I held my feelings back. I wasn't being honest to myself, but I believe I was just being fair because I was afraid and knew I was confused. Fortunately, as fate would have its way, God had to send little Mr. Cupid in the persona of Ronald Chan to bridge our communication gap (yes! special mention. haha!). He urged Moch to text me and find out how I was. I politely replied, and so the friendship revived through text after more than a year of communication lull. (Thank God for text messaging! hehe). That's when I realized that I super missed this guy. It dawned to me that I almost let this one get away! In short, God gave me a chance to correct my mistake. He gave 'Us' another chance.


"Love is sweeter the 2nd time around..."

Valentine's was just around the corner after we started communicating again. Ayan na! He bravely took another chance with me. After maturing and finally coming to terms with my feelings, I accepted a romantic doube-date Valentine's dinner in Tagayatay. Oh diba, ang sarap magpakatotoo! And so we started going out again.


March 22, 2003...

This was the day my heart said 'Yes' to Moch even before he asked me to be his girl. :)

I couldn't hide the fact that God wanted us to be together. I knew we had his blessing. I believe Moch is my soulmate. He is God-given. Who am I to decline? I already did once, twice. Ang sarap mauntog! Hahaha! :D

There were a lot of humps along the way especially in our 1st year, but I'm glad we've surpassed them. So far, from our 6 years of being together, I could say that we've been through a lot. Nandyan na ang selos, petty fights, impatience, accidents, vices, sickness, different view points and interests that you argue about...you name it. But ofcourse those were all overshadowed by the love, care, thoughtfulness, patience, understanding, compromise, time, support, dreams and prayers we've showered into our relationship. And I believe we've extended that to our respective families and friends. At this point, we're still continuing to grow and learn from each other. It has been a wonderful journey and we're truly blessed.


The planned proposal (that I spoiled!)...

It's not really a surprise anymore that we are going to get married. A lot of our close friends knew it was bound to happen. It was really just a matter of 'When?' He actually asked me if I wanted to marry him July of 2008 (take note, asked, not proposed. hehe) Since Moch's late father, Tito Art, was diagnosed with cancer last year, Moch wanted his father to be present when his eldest son gets married (ofcourse, so do I). They were in Guangzhou then treating Tito Art's cancer when Moch called me through Skype. He told me that his dad might not make it to our wedding next year (we promised each other we would like to get married in 2010 but nothing definite yet), so he asked me if I wanted to get married as soon as possible. I had to decline. It's not me being selfish or anything, but my eldest brother and my now sister-in-law were already preparing for their wedding that December. I just couldn't take that away from them and get ahead of them. Plus, my family and I weren't really prepared. Ofcourse Moch understood, but I told him to ask me again after my brother's wedding in December 30, 2008.

Not long after (this was January 2009), Moch kept telling me he wanted to go on a vacation in Boracay on our 6th anniversary, just the two of us. Suddenly I remembered what I told him last July to 'ask me again'. So I thought, 'Is he planning to propose in Boracay?' but I brushed it aside. I didn't want to expect.


Then the spoiler!

I confirmed my initial hunch. I found out there was a proposal in the making, and it was going to happen soon! I read his text messages to and from his cousin regarding engagement rings. Pano kasi he left his cellphone with me. I don't usually check his messages but an unusual voice inside my head (aka curiosity) told me to read his messages. The messages that caught me were all about diamond rings and diamond cuts, and how he wanted to remodel his mom's heirloom jewelry ring. So I just put the pieces of the puzzle together -- Boracay + 6th anniversary + diamond ring = marriage proposal! :D Hahahaha! The moment I found out I just couldn't hide my excitement! (Moch really can't keep secrets from me!) Without thinking, I eventually told him I already knew about his plans. So he decided to change the Boracay proposal and go for Plan B. (Shucks! Sayang ang Boracay proposal I later realized!). There wasn't really any Plan B. Now he was pressured to think of how to surprise me. His challenge was to pop the question the least day and place I would expect.


The actual proposal...

Without any suspense...on Friday, February 20, 2009, past the hour of 8 in the evening, he proposed in my office, particularly infront of the elevators of 8/f Jollibee Centre, of all places! Hahaha! Oh diba, least place I would expect talaga! He first surprised me with a bouquet of beautiful flowers (I thought he was just making-up for being 2 hours late!!! My hands were already shaking from hunger). He gave me the flowers, then suddenly he knelt on his right knee, took out a box and opened it...Wow! I was awe-stricken. My hunger pangs went away.

Inside the box was a beautiful two-toned .9 carat round-cut diamond ring, size 5. ;)

"Will you marry me?"

Without hesitation (duh!), I said "Yes!".

He took the ring from the box, reached for my left hand and wore it on my ring finger. Perfect fit.

"Ito na pala yun!", I said laughing while teary-eyed. I got him up and just hugged him as tears flowed down my eyes.

It was a feeling I've never felt before. I was ecstatic like I was floating, and I just kept staring at the ring. I felt like I was transported to wonderland and didn't mind that we were in an old, unromantic office building.

I thought to myself, "Wow! I'm engaged. I'm getting married to my one true love, my soulmate. Wow!" It was a walk in the clouds.

It was beautiful. Pure bliss.


*Shared by the Bride. September 2009.