Take me for a ride
Down the stretch of the highway
A road to nowhere
Where adventure awaits
Possibilities endless.
Surrounded with greens and browns,
Blues and whites
A delightful journey
I'd gladly take with you.
*While traversing Star Highway in Batangas to San Juan :)
Beautiful Mornings are hassle-free mornings. Free from traffic stress…free from pestering words…free from brutal force and ignorant deeds…but not withstanding life’s challenges rather welcoming them and turning them into positive energy.
Beautiful Mornings are thoughtful and polite “Good Morning!” from loved ones and whom you pass by. Where morning dew is not just from a scent of cologne…where driving is pleasurable…where coffee makes you awake more than ever…where writing becomes casual thoughts of appreciation.
“Your thankfulness is your seal of approval upon My glad gifts to you!”
-A line from Good Morning...GOD
I want to give in but I know I have to hold on…a ‘lil longer…whatever it takes.
We are all struggling spirits…we are not perfect…but we’re trying our very best.
Sigh!
We are all tired.
I miss happy thoughts.
And after letting out all of our honest emotions, we are reminded to practice the pause…
Practice the pause
When in doubt, practice the pause.
When angry, practice the pause.
When tired, practice the pause.
When stressed, practice the pause.
Breathe…
View from a different perspective…
Laugh…
Sleep…
Dream…
Breathe…
Even your heart needs rest.
*Got this from a forwarded text message by a friend.
I’m bombarded with strong and hurtful words. But I permit it because I know she has to have an outlet and I want it to be me and to no one else...because I can take it after years of knowing her. She’s my self-proclaimed sister after all...my irreplaceable and God-sent sister. I permit it because I deserve it. I bombarded her with my embarrassing and obtuse actions to begin with. But why did I hurt her if I value our relationship this much? It wasn’t deliberate, but that’s another story to tell.
But still she puts her mind into it. She puts sense into my dim-witted blind spots. She’s extremely hurt but forgiving. Makes me all the more worse about myself when I recall my stupidity and lack of a better judgment. She handles it with dignity. I admire her for that.
Taking full responsibility for my actions...blaming no one...not even him. No point dwelling in the past but I have learned a great deal. It’s time to look forward for the chance to try again...to prove my worth and my sincerity. I’m smarter this time...no more blind spots about the issue. I can now play the role with greater understanding of its meaning...appreciating its value...and knowing its depth.
I am very hopeful but also very scared. She gives me pieces of her confidence...slowly but surely. And I continue praying not just for me but for my dearest friends as well...for all of us...for we are all in this together. We are our people. We support each other. That’s the way it should have been...should be...and will ever be.
It’s quite busy at work right now. I keep my silence but my mind is screaming, my heart wants to burst. It really hurts. I want to breakdown right here, right now…but they wouldn’t understand…it’s a personal issue that I shouldn’t be bringing with me to work. And so I write just to let it all out. Tears keep falling but I’m trying to regain composure. It’s really hard to pretend but they do not notice. It’s better this way.
Listening to my iPod trying to block-off the thoughts of what transpired to last night’s mourning and what was on the mind of a very aggrieved friend. And I carry this burden because I am not sure if I am the only one who shares her pain to those of us who know the whole story and the two or many sides of it all…I hope not. I do not want to make excuses anymore or analyze and reason out my confusion and my actions at that time, because it won’t make the situation any better…it won’t make my mistakes seem reasonable…she won’t accept it…I do not accept it either. At the very end of it all I know I did wrong no matter how they or I try to make it seem…I did wrong no matter how things actually did happen. Just no more excuses and just accept fault. I am sorry, ashamed, and stupid for doing what I did or did not do.
Why is this happening? Why does it have to be her? Why me? Why? Why? Why?
So many thoughts racing through my mind right now and it confuses and hurts me all the more. I need a breather. I need a quiet time to think, to be still…so I can hear Him clearly.
We live with expectations. No question about that.
Our expectations are based on the trust we have established.
These trusts aren’t only words or thoughts made up. It is with faith, honor, respect, value, consideration, hope and love.
So what happens when our expectations are not met?
What happens when our expectations on that trust bend?
All that talk about honor, respect, value, consideration, hope and love goes down the drain.
We are left with broken hearts.
We are left with utter confusion.
We are left with the question why?
We are left jaded with explanations that lead to the tragic experience.
We are left with hard realizations.
We are left with extreme remorse.
Lessons learned.
But there is no quick fix to healing wounds.
Trying to repair the damage done through rebuilding of trust. Giving it freedom of time.
So again…living with expectations…can’t really control that…because I am hopeful.
Our journey seems like forever… as our search for answers and truth to many questions never ends… surmountable like the vast and deep oceans. Nothing in this world will ever satiate our hearts and minds burning with vigor. So let us be – free as a flying bird… free as a woman shaving her head… free as if no one is watching; wild with imagination; creative expressions in manner of words... thoughts... ideas... shapes... fashion… movement… captured moments… painted realities... dreams... and understanding; discovering the unknown; passionate with our heart’s desires. We must never be satisfied because man has yet to discover his full potential… because we must prepare ourselves… because we must toil to endure and rise from all sorts of storm in our lives. We must never be satisfied from the mediocrity man has established. We must never be afraid to breakaway from stereotypes, rather recognize that we must toil, endure and rise because we are all destined for greatness. Though the magnitude of our wonderful beings may not be acclaimed by our fellow man because we will not find our satisfaction and sense of fulfillment in him. More often than not, our greatness is a silent cry of victory that only He hears… sees… understands, but then we are content.
What we have…it’s not about who’s right or who’s wrong. ‘Coz somewhere along the way…during our misunderstandings and disparate views, we hurt each other more than we think. Yes, we hurt the ones we love and we are hurt more by people we love…sometimes by carelessness or by the desire of perfection.
What we have…it’s about acknowledging our mistakes. It’s about humbling our pride and ego. It’s about saying I’m sorry so we can kiss and make up…and say ‘I love you’. It’s about the feeling of rebirth, new beginnings, that 2nd or 3rd or 4th or 5th chance of renewed promises and restored dreams…that for a moment we thought we’ve lost, broken in bleak darkness.
What we have…it’s what we have fought for. It’s what we have built strong from its very base…the roots that have seeped deeper and deeper that they may never break us apart. Only we have the power to do so.
Where shall we rest that power? To Him do we entrust everything. What we have…it is Him.
What we have…it is love. Our packages that we have brought together…that which we have laid upon ourselves.
What we have…we are the masters of it. We are the author of our story…the actors in our story.
…the following day, I wake up to an alarming sound…my phone alarm that says 5:45AM.
To wake or to sleep? That is the question…
I snoozed the alarm and decided to lay and close my eyes for mere 5 minutes. Ok, good.
…all dressed up…ready for the world…the melancholic weather…fast cars…annoying jeepnies…bad traffic! I thought to myself, “Late nanaman ako”! Hehehe.
…surprisingly, the world was half asleep…the weather looking fine (so far)…fast cars indeed…annoying jeepnies still…very light traffic (no school)…wow!
It was a blissful ride while listening to the local radio…Magic 89.9…I’m an avid listener to their morning show.
And the song by Bob Marley just came over me…as I sing…
“Sun is shining, the weather is sweet, yeah
Make you wanna move your dancing feet now
To the rescue here I am
Want you to know, ya’ll, can you understand?”
…and now I sit on my office chair…sip my coffee…look out the window…
hmmm…no sign of rain yet…so I hum to the tune of the song once more…
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
After years of expensive education,
a car full of books and anticipation,
I’m an expert on Shakespeare and that’s a hell of a lot
but the world don't need scholars as much as I thought.
Maybe I'll go travelling for a year,
finding myself or start a career.
I could work for the poor though I’m hungry for fame
we all seem so different but we're just the same.
Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat,
aren't things more easy with a tight six pack?
Who knows the answers? Who do you trust?
I can't even separate love from lust.
Maybe I’ll move back home and pay off my loans,
working nine to five answering phones.
Don't make me live for my friday nights,
drinking eight pints and getting in fights.
I don't want to get up, just let me lie in,
leave me alone, I'm a twenty something.
Maybe I'll just fall in love that could solve it all,
philosophers say that that’s enough,
there surely must be more. Ooooh
Love ain’t the answer nor is work,
the truth eludes me so much it hurts.
But I’m still having fun and I guess that's the key,
I'm a twenty something and I'll keep being me.
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
I’m a twenty something.
Let me lie in, Leave me alone.
I’m a twenty something.
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
Twentysomething written & sung by Jamie Cullum
How do you see an arrogant and prideful man?
Ignorant and exuberant for their naiveté. They do not see the whole picture. But He said not to be indignant nor crush their eagerness but we should find ways to empower them and channel their energy into something useful and good. For we are His vessels, His soldiers.
Soulfood for my struggling spirit.
I’ve just realized that when you put your heart into something, you become more effective. Hence, you get to accomplish things that will help you get closer to that something.
We live in the same world living our own lives. To identify things, sometimes it is easier for us to brand things. This is also extended to people. To know our identity we join a group to better express who we are. Then we are classified, branded, stereotyped. Sometimes other people outside that faction see us as a representation of a certain class. Just like in highschool. There are the geeks, the jocks, the pop kids, the cheerleaders, the artists, the gothic, the writers, the bookworm, the conservatives, the indifferent, the nature lover and many more character types. Sometimes we are overpowered by the group’s character and the downside is we lose our individuality to the group.
