My Only Hope

Emptiness. It’s what I feel whenever I’m alone. I try to color my life with rainbow but this vacuum leaves me longing and wanting for more. I devour like it’s an addiction I must satisfy. Alas, it dissipates and I’m empty once more.

Madness. Everyday I fight for my sanity. I wake up mechanically as mind and body collide. What is out there? What is my place in this world? What will become of me? At the back of my head I worry about these questions. We are all afraid but we embark upon it alone. I look for answers and it becomes my obsession.

Hopefulness. All other things are uncertain except for that one thing I hold dear. My God, my God, my God! My faith in God. I pray that I don’t lose this hope. My one and only hope.

Happiness. By simply loving and being loved. It is the greatest feeling in the world whether mental, physical, spiritual. I am affirmed and appreciated. I am given meaning and reason for my existence. My faith in God is mirrored through my love. My love for you and my love who is you. This is my love of happiness and happiness of love.

And because of my love I am no longer empty but contented. This madness of mine becomes a delightful endeavor. My hope remains to be my hope so I can keep this gift of happiness.

My Little Box

I see the world in this little box of mine
Where my life revolves.
It’s this little island called the Philippines.
A place where I grew up and will most likely end up
For the rest of my life.

But every now and then I will travel
And witness the world outside my box
To experience life the way I am not accustomed to.
And I will enjoy it
Every bits and pieces of the moment.

Then I will realize how wonderful life is
Inside and outside my box.
That my world is not just in this little box of mine.
That I can be anywhere in the world I like
And I can call it my own.

I will learn to value what I have
And appreciate the people I’ve met along the way.
Then little by little I will open my box
To let the world in
To let my world out.

And so this little box of mine
Will simply have to give way
To the breadth of life.
My world will no longer be in this little box
But something bigger, something better.

Beautiful Brown China Eyes

I look at him
and see a beautiful man in front of me.
I am drawn...hypnotized...
can’t take my eyes off of him.
He drowns me with
his beautiful brown china eyes of his.
And I stare back.

He speaks to me without saying a word.
He feels me without touching me.
He hears me without words out of my mouth.
He sees me with his beautiful brown china eyes.

He sees the world and he shows me the wonderful life.
He sees love and he lets me feel his love.
He sees me and he makes me a better person.
And I see it all through his beautiful brown china eyes.

Happy

3 things that make me most happy…

1. When you're happy.
2. When I'm with you.
3. When you're proud of me.
   

The Loving Forgiveness Of A Father

Your mind is clouded with anger, irritation or whatever negative feeling you may have towards someone or something.
Then you react based on the situation.
Your reason is overshadowed with great feelings and emotion.
You tend to say something harsh or do something stupid.
After everything that was said and done the conflict remains.
You lock yourself up in your room to cool your head and ponder on the incident.
You try to reflect and recall what transpired.
Then you realize the lapse in judgment…the mistakes made.
You come to your senses and accept fault.
You humble yourself and think of ways to make it up.
You pray and muster strength to combat pride within you.
And if successful, you come into terms with the conflict.
“I’m sorry.”
You blurted out softly and shyly at first.
“Ok.” was the instant reply you got.
You repeat it but this time you’re filled with guilt and you meant every word.
You hoped for a favorable response of forgiveness as your watery eyes trickled down into tears.
You try to hide it but couldn’t handle the shame of disrespect.
So you pleaded by crying and leaning the head on the shoulder.
That little drama helped a lot in gaining sympathy, but it was heartfelt and real.
You began to sob uncontrollably because of an embrace.
It was the embrace of forgiveness and love of a loving father to a child that strayed.
You wondered how great his love must be as he welcomed you into his arms and forgot about the hurt caused.
The conflict was resolved and the resolution was not to hurt him like that again.
And so you try your best to be a good daughter…for him and his great love…because he deserves it and because you love him dearly.
Then you treat him to Starbucks to make sure everything’s back to normal and more.
And indeed it was! ☺

Unhappy

I want to leave!
I want to get out of here!
I'm not happy here!
I'm not myself here!
I just hurt the people close to my heart.
I don't want to do that anymore.
I want to stop!

Time

I want to turn back time and make up for the moments lost and wasted.
I want to freeze time to this wonderful fleeting moment of joy.
I want to fast forward time to the day I am yours and you are mine forever!

The Reason

You’re my reason why...
...........................my life is so colorful.
...........................I tamed my vices.
...........................I try my very best to be patient.
...........................I look forward to tomorrow.
...........................I struggle to be the best I can be and improve.
...........................I feel so lucky and blessed.
...........................I feel loved and important.
...........................I hope and dream.
...........................I want to look my best.
...........................I want to be loyal.
...........................I want to have a family.
...........................I want to live my life.
...........................I love and my life is full of spirit.
You’re my reason for everything.
You’re my reason for my happiness.
I wouldn’t exchange you for the world!

I Love You

I love you more than love itself.
It is not confined in the words of what it means.
It is beyond my comprehension.
It’s unconditional love.
Sometimes I don’t understand nor can I explain it.
It’s not a mystery for me to solve.
It’s not just this feeling.
I love you because I choose to love you.
But love…oh love!
It took over me.
And it feels oh so wonderful.
I like it!

***image https://www.fireworksarcade.com/images/love-heart.jpg

Lovers and Haters

Do you have to hate the person you love in order to move on?

He must have had done something awful to deserve your hatred. Because if not, how do you grow to hate the person you love?

You form thoughts in your head…thoughts that will justify the reasons for hating him. And so you dig in to his flaws and try to bury the happy memories. You force yourself to do this – reasoning out and analyzing everything that was said and done beating yourself from loneliness. Some things are pointed out and exaggerated. We believe the things we want to believe. We cry then harden ourselves. We find fault in him because this is the easiest way to cope with the heartache.

Hate is a powerful word. It comes deep within the person. It grows through time.

I’ve been hated once like this before…hated to be forgotten. And he felt he needed to do it for himself. I thought it was unfair of him because I felt I didn’t really do anything to deserve it. Because I thought I was clear from the very beginning that I just wanted to be friends.

But it was his way of coping…because he needed to forget about me in order to move on with his life…so he would stop expecting. It worked for him he said. But fate had its way. When our hearts met the second time around, there was something there I thought I never had…I thought I had lost…almost. He thought he hated me…thought he’d forgotten about me, but it all came rushing back. And now we’ve been together ever since.

So how can you hate the person you love when the person you thought you’d learn to hate, you actually still love? Always have I suppose…

You can’t really hate the person you love…well not totally. The heart can be independent from the brain sometimes. When you love, you love with your heart. But when the heart is broken, you try to protect it with all you can…and the brain somehow dictates how the heart should feel. It will feel the rationalizations and the logical explanations of the head. So no matter how much you still love the person, reason will direct you to forget and move on…it will dismiss the feelings of the heart. How will you do this? The easiest way is to hate the person so as not to prolong your suffering. And so you train yourself to dislike the person until eventually you learn to abhor him. Once you’ve done so…the heart stops beating for him. And you will congratulate yourself for doing so because now you can say that you have moved on. Or so you thought…

Because now, you only learned to hate him but not really forget about him. And I am not quite certain how far you can go in ‘moving on’ with hate lingering inside you. This is why, they say, the ‘exes’, (especially those who had bad break-ups and great expectations burst) can never be friends…only in civility perhaps…those who have not lost each others’ respect. So no, I don’t believe you should hate the person you love in order to move on.

You can say, however, that you stopped expecting. And so the feeling fades and maybe…just maybe…love fades with it. Until the heart heals and until you learn to accept…only time can tell. But this, at least, is a good basis of moving on. Accept and not expect…but never be a hater of love.

Simply Writing

Write everything down.
Your opinions, your thoughts, your feelings.
Feel free. Open up.
Take the weight off your shoulders.
Share it to the world.
It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t rhyme.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t make sense.
It doesn’t matter if they don’t understand.
It doesn’t matter for this is your pleasure, your solace.
Everything is raw and abstract.
It is real. Filled with emotions.
Careless and carefree…you decide!
But behind it all there is a story.
And that is it.

Sometimes...

Sometimes...
We have to do things on our own.
We have to be alone.
We have to make risks.
We have to learn to let go.
We have to think for ourselves.
We have to make a stand.
We have to speak up.
We have to listen.
We just have to let things be.
It is not so bad.

Because...
We have to face the truth.
We have to face reality.
We have to face our demons.
We have to face the world.
We have to face responsibility.
We cannot expect.

So we can be happy.
So we can have peace of mind.
So we can face ourselves in the mirror.
So we can face the world…
Our friends….
Our family…
Our love…
Our God.

***espirro-no-mato.weblog.com.pt

Inncocent Danger

As I halted in front of the stoplight, I looked out the window and saw two boys playing mock basketball. One boy was taller than the other. At one instance the little kid was dribbling (w/o a ball) and then took a shot as the taller boy jumped up to block it. And it seemed he did because then the possession was with the taller boy. They were laughing their hearts out as they played.

What was ironic though was I found myself amused with these little kids on the sidewalk…simple joys. But at the same time I was concerned that these kids were playing at risk. They were in danger of getting hit by a car or truck with one wrong step.

But why is this? Why can’t these innocent kids play peacefully on a playground? Are they getting the same opportunities as with the other kids?

I guess not. It may be worse for some.

The light turned green and so I sped away with my thoughts lingering with those boys and the other kids with the same fate.

How To Save A Soul

I don’t need to be a doctor.
I don't need to be a cop.
I don't need to be a lifeguard.
I don’t need to be Superman.

But I want to save you…
not for your health…
not for your protection…
not for your life...
not for anything else...

So tell me, how do you save a soul?
Can anyone tell me please!?

I’m helpless knowing this.

A nun or priest perhaps?

Turn to God.
Turn to the Bible.
Pray.

These...I hope...will help save a soul.


***image www.matamata.com

The Road To Happiness

There came a point in my life...
Where I had to choose the path...
Where my journey will carry on.
Filled with uncertainty...
From the pictures of vagueness ahead.
I was frightened.
I was in the middle...
Of hundreds of roads.
I couldn’t choose.

I closed my eyes...
And let my heart decide.
My feet tread...
Where the wind blew...
As it carried me...
Through the woods, the storm...
Across the fields, the mountains, the seas, the skies.

It was exhausting...
Yet exhilarating.
It made me...
Alive.

A road...
Where distance is not measured...
Where no boundaries are set...
Where time has no relevance...
Where the world is in slow motion...

This is the road I chose...
The road that led me to you...
The road we took together...
Where I walk, you will follow...
And that I would gladly do the same.

I never imagined it to be...
As beautiful as this...
Sweet bliss...
Of sugar-coated dreams.
Oh what delight...
Sheer happiness!

Although I am still with fear...
That this feeling of ecstasy is all fleeting...
That the cookie may crumble...
That the picture may soon fade...
That the heart may stop beating...
For nothing is forever.

Alas!
It may seem wasteful...
But this is the life...
That keeps us grounded...
For what goes up...
Must come down...
And this is reality...
We all have to face...
Keep in mind.

But I am grateful...
To have chosen this path...
And living it...
For it is all worth living for...
And worth dying for...
Love surpasses everything.

This is it.
We have come along way...
It has been smooth, rough and dirty
And there will be more ahead.

There may be narrow roads, sharp curves,
Turns and dead-ends...
We will yield to it all...
Not to surrender...
But to build and re-build...
Roads, bridges, tunnels...
Of love and promises,
Words, actions and fancy alike,
Where everything becomes one.

My road, your road...
It will meet, to be our road...
And I will cherish this long drive with you.

Wonderful Uncertainties of Life

We live in uncertainty, but that’s the wonderful surprise life brings...wonderful uncertainties with you that is! Therefore, I will embrace it with arms wide open...every breathtaking moment. Life is so wonderful! I’m in such a high...



***image www.filmsite.org

The Rainbow After the Rain

I have no major issues...no personal dilemma, no family problems, no shaky finances, no stressful work, no deteriorating health, no conflicts with friends or co-workers...no nothing. I have a carefree life! Thank God! I am blessed. But we all are.

So how come people think I live a perfect life? No, I don’t think so. No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect but the Omnipotent One above. I can’t say that my life is problem-free. I encounter it everyday.

Handling it with 10%...ok 20% of crying and loosing yourself out of rage and depression is enough. Shake it off!

Know the problem. Look for opportunities and solutions. Pray hard. Ask for help and guidance. Believe in yourself. Approach it. Handle it. We can do this.

Yes, it’s easier said than done. But that’s just the way it is. Everyone has to pass through it...even He who suffered for us. It’s a matter of time. Just remember the beautiful butterfly that has to struggle in its cocoon in order to fly...to be free!

He is your solace when lost.

The Element of Change

I’m behind the wheel. Out for a joyride. Speeding. The images through the window are a blur. Buckle up. It’s a rollercoaster ride.

I’m putting my feet on the ground, fists clenched, chest out, chin up high, eyes with intensity and my soul on fire.

I’m in-charge here. Follow my lead. Stand up. Stand up high. For we are the driving force...the element of change.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” -- Margaret Mead


***image www.northlandposter.com

Fight the Good Fight

Stop. Just how productive do you think your day is? How are you spending your life today? Think...hmm...a little more...hmmm...

Blank. My day is such a waste. Sitting. Waiting ‘til the clock says it’s time.
I’m a bum at work. How horrible! Shameful. Better to work my ass off with a sweat than in this pretentious place. It’s so unfair and yet I’m aware of my callousness.

The devil is lurking around me. His cunning ways are ready to seize my soul, anytime now, to burn!

Help! Save me from captivity. I am rotting.

My ideas are confined in this hollow box. I long for the emancipation of my spirit. It’s out there...in the wild, in the open seas…where my heart treads. This idealistic mind boasts a lot but lacks feat. But my convictions are genuine. It is yearning with vigor. It is hopeful that the world tomorrow will be the consequence of the good fight, by us...today. “Fight the good fight”, we shall bellow together in unison.

And so I’m stirred not to succumb to apathy. I am in the battlefield waging war against my personal evils. I shall fight the good fight, and I will thrive.

Do you love me?

The best thing about the question, “Do you love me?” is not that there is doubt, but it’s the chance you can answer back, “Yes, I love you.”


***image www.ac-nancy-metz.fr